The Mall and Perfect Friends

So I haven't been to the mall in forever, since life doesn't always allow for hours-long shopping trips. However, I recently went with a couple friends for a day-long shopping excursion, which included thrift stores and the mall. Walking through the mall and being bombarded with pictures of mostly-naked people and other inappropriate sights made me sick. I decided if I ever have children, I will NOT take them to the mall. Wow - so inappropriate.
There was a girl at the mall (I think she worked at Nordstrom) who was obviously on her break outside the store. She had a mini skirt (2 sizes too small), boots, and patterned nylons on. She was standing outside Nordstrom talking on the phone, and I wonder if she knew what happened next. Three guys walked by, and these guys were like total losers. You know the type - white trash who probably sit at home in their trashed trailer, drinking beer, playing video games and beating their wife. Anyway, the three of them stopped and stared at her for a good 3 minutes - it was nasty. I wonder if she knew when she got dressed that morning that that was the kind of guy she was going to attract that day. My word, if I had guys looking at me like that, my daddy would hit the roof. It creeped me out just seeing them stare at her like that.
On to better subjects.
Any of you have perfect friends? You know the type - skinny, tall and gorgeous? The kind you don't want to stand next to in a picture, because you feel frumpy beside them? Yeah, I have been blessed with several perfect friends. I was talking to one the other day, and she said something about needing to lose a few pounds. I CANNOT be the only one in the world who has heard this from someone who OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I really wanted to throw her out a window... but I refrained (only because she was not in the same county as I was at the time). I even have a perfect guy friend. He's the guy that walks into the conference and all the girls inhale at once. I'm friends with him just so I can be popular with the girls ("Who is that??" "Can you introduce me??") A few days ago, I said something about those shirts that you get at camp or a conference that are unisex size and never look flattering. I said "That shirt looks horrid on me," and he said "Well, it looks good on me." I said, "Well, SOME OF US AREN'T PERFECT!" and you know what the brat said? "Oh, yeah... sorry." Grrrr....
Someday, I want to be someone's perfect friend...